Where I'm at: In my room
Weather: 77 degrees outside - inside feels like 90!
Sights: My room
Sounds: Crickets chirping in the backyard (my window is open)
Mood: Unsettled, Anxious
I have felt uneasy all day. You know that nervous ache in the pit of your stomach - like something is wrong, or something bad is going to happen? There's someone that I can't get out of my mind. I'm worried about her. Concerned for her. In the last 9-12 months, we have drifted apart - I feel like she has drifted more than I have, but she may think differently. I feel lost when I think about how to be close to her again. I feel like she doesn't want me in her life. I feel rejected. The human side of me wants to be mad at her, but I know she is hurting inside and for whatever reason doesn't feel safe to open up to me. And I don't know what to do. Do I confront? Do I let it go? What? She is just becoming an adult, going through a lot of the usual challenges of growing up, but some how it's different. There are other things going on her life. Deep in her mind and heart. I look in her eyes and see sadness. And it breaks my heart. I just want to hug her and tell her it will be OK. I want her to trust me, to share with me what is happening. I think she tried to not too long ago. She actually broke down and cried over the phone - but I didn't ask the right questions, and I probably gave her advice instead of just listening. I feel like I am losing her, like she is slipping out of reach.
Please, God, protect her. Help her not to lose hope. If she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me, bring someone in her life that is mature, and wise and can be sounding board for her. Someone that will guide her towards decisions and choices that are good. After writing this, I'm realizing that I'm actually hurt that she won't talk to me. That she won't confide in me. Is this my pride, God? Is this my "savior complex" that I have to keep in check sometimes? I don't know. She's just not the same. Something is different - more than just the natural angst of growing up. And I feel afraid for her.
Give me wisdom and direction, Lord. I don't want to sit back and just watch her fade away. I want her to know that I care. That I will be there for her. But I can not force her to trust me. I can not make her talk to me. So, I will place her in Your hands, God. Give me opportunities to show Your love to her, and to show/express my love to her. And give me wisdom to know whether I should be bold and talk to her about my concern for her, or to just quietly pray for her and wait for her to come around. I thank You for what you are doing right this minute in her heart. Encourage her, give her hope and give her strength to make the right choices in whatever she is facing/dealing with right now.
Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Hodge Podge - in a Good Way
Where I'm at: Outside, front yard, sitting on the bench
Weather: 77 degrees (feels a lot hotter!)
Sights: Dad's fire hydrant, our front yard, neighbors houses
Noises: a door slamming, traffic on King Road and Capital Expressway - but no crickets or dogs barking!
Mood: Encouraged
I've had a really good day. Nothing in particular, it just seems like things went well. No "snafus", if you know what I mean.
Weather: 77 degrees (feels a lot hotter!)
Sights: Dad's fire hydrant, our front yard, neighbors houses
Noises: a door slamming, traffic on King Road and Capital Expressway - but no crickets or dogs barking!
Mood: Encouraged
I've had a really good day. Nothing in particular, it just seems like things went well. No "snafus", if you know what I mean.
- I figured out a few formulas for a spreadsheet I'm creating at work. Finally! It's been driving me little crazy for a few days. I felt really good when I entered the formula, hit enter - and "wa la" it worked! A great sense of accomplishment, I must say!<:
- I walked to Target, instead of driving! It felt good! Added a few more steps to my pedometer!
- My best friend and I booked our flights and cruise to Cabo tonight! We're heading to Mexico in December - I'm very excited! And it wasn't very expensive!
- Tomorrow night, I'm meeting the head of "Trinity Ranch". I'll blog more about that tomorrow - but it's about a horse ministry - right here in Los Gatos!
As you can see from my above listing - there wasn't a whole lot going on today - and yet, I feel content, encouraged and blessed. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
Psalm 13:6 I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.
Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.
Psalm 100:5 For the Lord is good and love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Did You Say Chicken Alfredo Disease? The Art of Communication
Where I'm at: Living Room Couch
Weather: Clear 76 degrees
Sounds/Sights - Nothing Spectacular
Mood: Joyful, Excited, at Peace
So - what kind of a title is "Chicken Alfredo Disease? The Art of Communication"? Let me explain. You see, today, I was talking on the phone with Shana - and anyone who knows her knows that she can rattle on like no tomorrow! And she rattles on pretty fast too! Well, in the middle of her conversation with me she said "Chicken Alfredo Disease" - or so I thought. Huh??? I interrupt. She says it again "Chicken Alfredo Disease". Now, I'm sure she has gone off the deep end, but because I'm a loving and considerate Auntie, I continue to probe into the mystery of her words. Finally, she says "I'm making Chicken Alfredo this eve" First of all - who talks like that anyway? And second of all, Why didn't she say "I'm making Chicken Alfredo for - dinner tonight, or for dinner, or tonight - NOT "this eve"! Again, I just have to ask - who talks like that???<:
Communication is a funny thing - it's all about interpretation. Factually - I can say something, but if what I say is heard differently - it really doesn't matter what I actually said, right? That's why it can be so important to repeat what someone says in your own words back to them - that way, if you heard them incorrectly you can get it straightened out sooner rather than later.
I looked up "Communication" and one of its definitions is: The transmission of information so that the recipient understands what the sender intends.
Communication occurs only when the sender's intentions are understood by the recipient. (Did you notice how I repeated the definition in my own words - like saying it back to the person who said it to me?)<:
Tonight, I met with some girl friends for a weekly Bible study. Several times we misunderstood each other in our conversations. Just silly stuff - but I was more aware of it because of my conversation with Shana earlier. It's very easy to not understand what people say. I wonder how often we go through our lives not understanding what someone is really saying to us? How often do we misinterpret or misunderstand their words and/or meaning? What does it take to really be able to communicate with someone?
Here's my two cents: I think communication comes through trust and security. Why? Because if I trust someone and am secure in our relationship, I will have confidence to ask questions until I understand what they are saying. And if they trust me and are secure in their relationship with me, they will continue to answer my questions or come up with others ways to get their point across where I understand what they are meaning. But if I don't have a trusting relationship and feel secure with that other person, I would most likely pretend that I understand, and walk away from the conversation angry, hurt, confused or baffled - thinking that person is just crazy - Chicken Alfredo disease??
What's my encouragement for the day? Ask questions. Find out what someone is really meaning/saying if you don't understand or you think it sounds kooky! And when someone asks for clarification (even if it's "what in the heck did you just say/mean?) - try to find another way to say it, or repeat it as many times as needed. Especially when it's someone you love and care for - the relationship is worth that extra time, and possible frustration and/or irritation with each other. We don't always understand those who we know really well - but because we know them really well, we should be willing to do all we can to understand them.
Shana left me a voice mail message - she said the Chicken Alfredo Disease was delicious! Did I think - huh? Nope - because now I understand what she means - because we practiced the art of communication.<:
How are you doing in the communication department with those you love? How are you doing in your communication with God? Do you trust Him enough and are you secure in Him to ask questions - to really find out what He is saying to you and what it means - specifically, to you? I challenge you to practice the art of communication with Him - see what happens!<:
Jeremiah 9:23-24 This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD.
Weather: Clear 76 degrees
Sounds/Sights - Nothing Spectacular
Mood: Joyful, Excited, at Peace
So - what kind of a title is "Chicken Alfredo Disease? The Art of Communication"? Let me explain. You see, today, I was talking on the phone with Shana - and anyone who knows her knows that she can rattle on like no tomorrow! And she rattles on pretty fast too! Well, in the middle of her conversation with me she said "Chicken Alfredo Disease" - or so I thought. Huh??? I interrupt. She says it again "Chicken Alfredo Disease". Now, I'm sure she has gone off the deep end, but because I'm a loving and considerate Auntie, I continue to probe into the mystery of her words. Finally, she says "I'm making Chicken Alfredo this eve" First of all - who talks like that anyway? And second of all, Why didn't she say "I'm making Chicken Alfredo for - dinner tonight, or for dinner, or tonight - NOT "this eve"! Again, I just have to ask - who talks like that???<:
Communication is a funny thing - it's all about interpretation. Factually - I can say something, but if what I say is heard differently - it really doesn't matter what I actually said, right? That's why it can be so important to repeat what someone says in your own words back to them - that way, if you heard them incorrectly you can get it straightened out sooner rather than later.
I looked up "Communication" and one of its definitions is: The transmission of information so that the recipient understands what the sender intends.
Communication occurs only when the sender's intentions are understood by the recipient. (Did you notice how I repeated the definition in my own words - like saying it back to the person who said it to me?)<:
Tonight, I met with some girl friends for a weekly Bible study. Several times we misunderstood each other in our conversations. Just silly stuff - but I was more aware of it because of my conversation with Shana earlier. It's very easy to not understand what people say. I wonder how often we go through our lives not understanding what someone is really saying to us? How often do we misinterpret or misunderstand their words and/or meaning? What does it take to really be able to communicate with someone?
Here's my two cents: I think communication comes through trust and security. Why? Because if I trust someone and am secure in our relationship, I will have confidence to ask questions until I understand what they are saying. And if they trust me and are secure in their relationship with me, they will continue to answer my questions or come up with others ways to get their point across where I understand what they are meaning. But if I don't have a trusting relationship and feel secure with that other person, I would most likely pretend that I understand, and walk away from the conversation angry, hurt, confused or baffled - thinking that person is just crazy - Chicken Alfredo disease??
What's my encouragement for the day? Ask questions. Find out what someone is really meaning/saying if you don't understand or you think it sounds kooky! And when someone asks for clarification (even if it's "what in the heck did you just say/mean?) - try to find another way to say it, or repeat it as many times as needed. Especially when it's someone you love and care for - the relationship is worth that extra time, and possible frustration and/or irritation with each other. We don't always understand those who we know really well - but because we know them really well, we should be willing to do all we can to understand them.
Shana left me a voice mail message - she said the Chicken Alfredo Disease was delicious! Did I think - huh? Nope - because now I understand what she means - because we practiced the art of communication.<:
How are you doing in the communication department with those you love? How are you doing in your communication with God? Do you trust Him enough and are you secure in Him to ask questions - to really find out what He is saying to you and what it means - specifically, to you? I challenge you to practice the art of communication with Him - see what happens!<:
Jeremiah 9:23-24 This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Horse Training-Redwings Horse Sanctuary
Where I'm at: In bed
Weather: Fair, 64 degrees outside/inside - a little warmer
Sounds: crickets chirping, a jet plane
Sights: My painting of Greece on my wall, my curtains blowing in the wind
Mood: Excited!
Today I completed my Level 1 Training for the Redwings Horse Sanctuary (http://www.redwings.org/).
I'm sure you can get a hint from the name, but it's a place for abused, neglected, unwanted, unadoptable horses where they can live out the rest of their days safely and peacefully.
It was so cool! We spent the first half of the day learning about the organization, their 2 locations - Prunedale (Just north of Salinas) and Lockwood (South of King city), the psychology and physiology of horses, toured the tack room. Our "classroom" was in the middle of a corral with one of the biggest horses I have ever seen roaming around us. The second half was spent with the horses - hands on!
The Prunedale sanctuary is on a private ranch. The owner allows Redwings to keep up to 9 horses here. Let me introduce the horses to you: (I'll post photos of each next time I go down there)
Susan (the huge black Belgian that roamed around us) is a beautiful, old carriage horse. Her tail was cut (bone and all) so it wouldn't interfere with the carriage equipment and would be easier to take care of (basically they are lazy, and didn't want to braid her tail) - so she has a hard time keeping the flies off her.>: Susan was the Lead horse, but her age has slowed her down - Lover Boy now holds that title for the this group.
Lover Boy is another huge Belgian, except he is blonde. Not quite as big as Susan, but still huge. He is what the call a "Premarin" baby. I won't go in to details, but if you are interested, look it up. It's pretty sick and sad. He's still a little leery about people, but allowed us to rub him, but not harness him.
Ginger Snap is a young Thoroughbred. He's got an attitude, but I was able to harness him and walk him around the corral - after a little coaxing.<: He was a race horse that was injured and no longer wanted. Alisage is very old Thoroughbred - she's over 30! But she is still the Lead horse in this group. Where she goes the next two horses follow. It's amazing to see. We were able to harness her, but didn't have time to lead her around.
High Tide is another Thoroughbred. He's young, but has a bum right eye. No one knows if he can see out of it or not. He has a tongue issue too - wants you to scratch it - Which releases endorphins in a horse and they get addicted to it! (who'd a thunk!) We are never supposed to allow him to do this!
Jasmine is a small Sorrel. She was abused badly, and is still under weight. On top of that she has Cushing's Disease - causes a sway back, extended belly and very harry coat. We were never able to get close to her.
We spent the most time with Susan - as she is more used to and comfortable around strangers and "newbies". I had the best time! I am hoping to make it down there 1x if not 2x a month.
Why am I doing this? 1) I love horses, but have never been able to have one. 2) One of my deeply tucked away, hidden, secret dreams is to have a place that combines broken, abused horses with broken, abused children. Some friends of mine challenged me to pursue that dream - see if it's from God or just because I like horses and want to help kids in some way. So, I did a little research and found Redwings. We'll see where this takes me!
Even if it turns our that this isn't the dream God has for me - it's a way for me to get my "horse" fix and not have the expense of boarding, vetting, feeding and purchasing my own horse. It's a win-win!
Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."
Weather: Fair, 64 degrees outside/inside - a little warmer
Sounds: crickets chirping, a jet plane
Sights: My painting of Greece on my wall, my curtains blowing in the wind
Mood: Excited!
Today I completed my Level 1 Training for the Redwings Horse Sanctuary (http://www.redwings.org/).
I'm sure you can get a hint from the name, but it's a place for abused, neglected, unwanted, unadoptable horses where they can live out the rest of their days safely and peacefully.
It was so cool! We spent the first half of the day learning about the organization, their 2 locations - Prunedale (Just north of Salinas) and Lockwood (South of King city), the psychology and physiology of horses, toured the tack room. Our "classroom" was in the middle of a corral with one of the biggest horses I have ever seen roaming around us. The second half was spent with the horses - hands on!
The Prunedale sanctuary is on a private ranch. The owner allows Redwings to keep up to 9 horses here. Let me introduce the horses to you: (I'll post photos of each next time I go down there)
Susan (the huge black Belgian that roamed around us) is a beautiful, old carriage horse. Her tail was cut (bone and all) so it wouldn't interfere with the carriage equipment and would be easier to take care of (basically they are lazy, and didn't want to braid her tail) - so she has a hard time keeping the flies off her.>: Susan was the Lead horse, but her age has slowed her down - Lover Boy now holds that title for the this group.
Lover Boy is another huge Belgian, except he is blonde. Not quite as big as Susan, but still huge. He is what the call a "Premarin" baby. I won't go in to details, but if you are interested, look it up. It's pretty sick and sad. He's still a little leery about people, but allowed us to rub him, but not harness him.
Ginger Snap is a young Thoroughbred. He's got an attitude, but I was able to harness him and walk him around the corral - after a little coaxing.<: He was a race horse that was injured and no longer wanted. Alisage is very old Thoroughbred - she's over 30! But she is still the Lead horse in this group. Where she goes the next two horses follow. It's amazing to see. We were able to harness her, but didn't have time to lead her around.
High Tide is another Thoroughbred. He's young, but has a bum right eye. No one knows if he can see out of it or not. He has a tongue issue too - wants you to scratch it - Which releases endorphins in a horse and they get addicted to it! (who'd a thunk!) We are never supposed to allow him to do this!
Jasmine is a small Sorrel. She was abused badly, and is still under weight. On top of that she has Cushing's Disease - causes a sway back, extended belly and very harry coat. We were never able to get close to her.
We spent the most time with Susan - as she is more used to and comfortable around strangers and "newbies". I had the best time! I am hoping to make it down there 1x if not 2x a month.
Why am I doing this? 1) I love horses, but have never been able to have one. 2) One of my deeply tucked away, hidden, secret dreams is to have a place that combines broken, abused horses with broken, abused children. Some friends of mine challenged me to pursue that dream - see if it's from God or just because I like horses and want to help kids in some way. So, I did a little research and found Redwings. We'll see where this takes me!
Even if it turns our that this isn't the dream God has for me - it's a way for me to get my "horse" fix and not have the expense of boarding, vetting, feeding and purchasing my own horse. It's a win-win!
Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Maintenance and Preventive Maintenance
Where I'm at: Front yard sitting on the bench
Weather: Warm and Sunny around 80 degrees
Noises: Birds chirping
Sights: Freshly mowed lawn
Mood: Satisfied, Accomplished
Today, I did a lot of "maintenance" around the house. Just normal household chores:
Weather: Warm and Sunny around 80 degrees
Noises: Birds chirping
Sights: Freshly mowed lawn
Mood: Satisfied, Accomplished
Today, I did a lot of "maintenance" around the house. Just normal household chores:
- straightened my room
- washed, dried, folded and actually put away clothes
- emptied the dishwasher, put dishes away, straightened kitchen
- pain stakingly removed all the sticker burrs from the blanket and sleeping from 2 weeks ago!
- mowed the lawn
I'm typically not a "maintenance" kind of person. I'm a procrastinator. The dull, boring, every day, once a week chores I usually ignore until it gets so bad I HAVE to do something about it. And then I get mad and lecture myself for not doing it on a regular basis, so it wouldn't be such a big job now. I wonder if there is maintenance in Heaven? hmmm....
Anyway, as I was mowing the lawn today, I had a conversation with God - what do you want to say to me to day, Lord? As you can guess from my blog title, the topic was "maintenance" and "preventive maintenance". Not only in my daily life - chores, work, car, body - but in my spiritual life as well. I don't know why, or where I got this notion from; but I tend to think "once " ought to be enough! But, as we all know, that just isn't true, reasonable or even possible.
I looked up the definition of maintenance and preventive maintenance.
- Maintenance -care or upkeep, as of machinery or property; means of upkeep, support, or subsistence; livelihood.
- Preventive Maintenance - Changes made to a system to avoid possible future problems. Maintenance (including inspection, cleaning, and repair) of equipment on a regular basis that is sufficient to prevent unplanned failure
Things grow, change, get dirty, wear out, break, and get dusty (like my shoes<:). Daily maintenance and preventive maintenance is important if I want my life to be sane, organized, calm and successful. It's common sense. But it takes discipline and time, which I usually have little of. It's a vicious circle, because if I took the time to be disciplined in this area of my life, I'd have more free time because I am disciplined! (That can make your head spin, if you think about it too long!<:)
OK, God. I hear You. I need to work on maintenance and preventive maintenance in my life - all aspects of it. Give me wisdom, perseverance and passion to take the time to be disciplined in the little things in my life - spiritual as well as physical. I want all the blessings You have stored up for me - just waiting for me to be ready to receive them.
Matthew 25:21 "His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master."
Friday, August 24, 2007
Vacuuming My Dusty Shoes
Where I'm at: On the couch
Weather: Clear, 70 degrees (nice evening!)
Noises: Grandfather clock every 15 minutes
Sights: Glow of my laptop in the dark room
Mood: Clean and relaxed -that glowy, calm feeling when showered after working out
Today, I didn't bring any new verses with me to memorize. So, as I hiked the hills, I tried to recall the 4 verses I already memorized.
The rest of my walk was spent asking God what He wanted to say to me today. I'm trying something new with Him.<: In the past, my time with God was usually planned - I had certain scripture I was going to read, subject matter to look up, or use the Daily Bread...something - but I chose it - and then asked God to speak to me through it. And, He usually did. But, what if God had something else to say to me? What if, on His end, our conversation wasn't over?
So, today - I asked God if He had anything He wanted to speak to me about. And a booming voice from Heaven said., " ". NOTHING!
So, I kept walking. When I reached the first big hill, and started the climb, I began looking at my shoes - you know how we often look at our feet when we are hiking - watching where we step...and I was reminded how dirty my shoes are! All week, I told myself that I will clean my shoes up after hiking, and I didn't do it once! They were pretty dusty! My hiking shoes are a dark brown, and the dirt trails I walk in are a light rusty brown, so my pretty, dark brown shoes are covered in this light, rusty brown color. So much so, that when I put them on and take them off the dust flies!
OK - back to my thoughts while walking...I'm looking at my dusty shoes, remembering that I've been planning to clean them up every time I'm done hiking - but haven't done that. And then it happened. God spoke to me. It was just a thought in my mind. A memory of something I read in the Bible. But it was so cool! So, I continued on my walk mulling it over. And guess what happened? God continued to speak to me - in my mind and in my heart. I have to say - it was pretty awesome!
So, what was it that I remembered? I looked it up when I got home. It's found in John 13. It's when Jesus washes the feet of His disciples - verses 5-15.
Some interesting observances:
Weather: Clear, 70 degrees (nice evening!)
Noises: Grandfather clock every 15 minutes
Sights: Glow of my laptop in the dark room
Mood: Clean and relaxed -that glowy, calm feeling when showered after working out
Today, I didn't bring any new verses with me to memorize. So, as I hiked the hills, I tried to recall the 4 verses I already memorized.
- Because of Your great love for me, You, God, who are rich in mercy, made me alive in Christ, even when I was dead in transgression. It is by grace I have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5
- When I said, "My foot is slipping", You, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalms 94:18-19
- Merciful God, restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain it. Psalms 51:12
- Father, help me humble myself under your mighty hand, that you may lift me up in due time. I Peter 5:6
The rest of my walk was spent asking God what He wanted to say to me today. I'm trying something new with Him.<: In the past, my time with God was usually planned - I had certain scripture I was going to read, subject matter to look up, or use the Daily Bread...something - but I chose it - and then asked God to speak to me through it. And, He usually did. But, what if God had something else to say to me? What if, on His end, our conversation wasn't over?
So, today - I asked God if He had anything He wanted to speak to me about. And a booming voice from Heaven said., " ". NOTHING!
So, I kept walking. When I reached the first big hill, and started the climb, I began looking at my shoes - you know how we often look at our feet when we are hiking - watching where we step...and I was reminded how dirty my shoes are! All week, I told myself that I will clean my shoes up after hiking, and I didn't do it once! They were pretty dusty! My hiking shoes are a dark brown, and the dirt trails I walk in are a light rusty brown, so my pretty, dark brown shoes are covered in this light, rusty brown color. So much so, that when I put them on and take them off the dust flies!
OK - back to my thoughts while walking...I'm looking at my dusty shoes, remembering that I've been planning to clean them up every time I'm done hiking - but haven't done that. And then it happened. God spoke to me. It was just a thought in my mind. A memory of something I read in the Bible. But it was so cool! So, I continued on my walk mulling it over. And guess what happened? God continued to speak to me - in my mind and in my heart. I have to say - it was pretty awesome!
So, what was it that I remembered? I looked it up when I got home. It's found in John 13. It's when Jesus washes the feet of His disciples - verses 5-15.
Some interesting observances:
- Jesus did this after the Last Supper. It is one of the last acts He did with His disciples before His death on the cross. It was important to Him to pass down to them.
- Jesus came to each disciple and washed their feet - not their hands, face, underarms (<:) - just their feet. But they had to be willing to allow Him to do it.
- Peter questioned Jesus regarding his foot washing. Jesus tells him you may not get this now, but you will later. Peter says You will never wash my feet, Lord! Jesus responds with - If I don't wash you, Peter, you have no part of Me! (Wow!)
- Peter then wants to be washed from head to toe! Jesus says you are already clean, just your feet need washing.
- Jesus tells His disciples that just as He has washed their feet, so they are to wash each others.
So, what does this mean to me? There are so many life things that could be applied to this story, but I'm sticking with the one God spoke to me about. Here goes...
Back in the days of Jesus, everyone walked everywhere. They didn't have the variety of shoes we have today. Bascially, it was probably just leather sandals that were worn most often. Feet got dirty a lot! You could be clean from head to mid-calf, but your feet and ankles were probably dusty and dirty many times through out your day. To keep your feet clean, your would have to wash them - often.
We, as disciples of Christ, are commanded to go into all the world and preach the Gospel. It's a dusty, dirty world, and our feet will get dirty often. Was Jesus giving us a visual reminder to allow Him to wash our feet - remove the dust, dirt, mud, crap we have collected from living in this world? This isn't talking about salvation. As Jesus said to Peter - you, as a whole, are already clean - I am already saved, cleansed - through accepting Christ in my heart. It's about washing the "uck that gets on me every day - just from living in an imperfect world.
To me - this is about forgiveness, helping each other along life's way, accountability, serving each other, humbling ourselves - sometimes it take humility to wash another's feet, and sometimes it take humility to allow someone else to wash your feet. The point is, Jesus thinks it's important for my feet to be washed when they get dirty. When "life" happens, I'm exposed to sadness, anger, frustration, abuse, evil, etc. It affects me, even if it doesn't result in sin. It's important that I be washed,-cleansed from the "uck" that attaches itself to me. When sin occurs, it's important that I ask for forgiveness, receive forgiveness and start again.
And, again, it's a family/community expectation that Jesus passed on to us. We not only get our feet washed by Jesus - but from each other. But how often do we really do this? So we get a lot of dust, a lot of "uckiness" and build-up on our hearts - and then the washing becomes a huge deal.
That's what happens when I don't allow my "feet"(heart) to be washed - before I know it, I have a year's worth of "dust" caked on me, and I can't even see the true color of me "feet" (heart). And I realize that a little water and sponge ain't gonna cut it! To have clean feet, I will need to soak them in HOT water, scrub them with a rough loofah sponge. They will be red and soar for a while. Just the thought of it makes me want to ignore all the grime that has built up, and just continue on my way. It will hurt too much to get a washing now!
Jesus must have known it would be difficult for us to do this. So He gave us a beautiful picture of it in His Word. Encouraging us - inviting us to allow Him and others to wash the part of us that gets dirty most often - our heart.
So, tonight, I vacuumed my dusty shoes. They look beautiful! Clean, fresh and ready to hit the trails again tomorrow! I know...I'll have to vacuum them again tomorrow, but it won't take as long because I will only have 1 day's dust, not two weeks, two months or two years!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Open Letter to my nieces and nephews
Where I'm at: In my backyard
Weather: Beautiful! Warm evening- 70 degrees
Noises: Lots of crickets! A little traffic
Sights: the blinking red lights fromKLOK
Mood: A little nervous
If you are reading this, than you've received my email inviting you to my blog world.
Welcome!<:
Weather: Beautiful! Warm evening- 70 degrees
Noises: Lots of crickets! A little traffic
Sights: the blinking red lights fromKLOK
Mood: A little nervous
If you are reading this, than you've received my email inviting you to my blog world.
Welcome!<:
You may be wondering why I'm doing this - especially after reading a few of my blogs. Why am I willing to expose some of my deepest thoughts, hurts, sin, fears, etc. to the younger generation in my family...I've been struggling with this for several days. As you will note: my "Decision" entry was made on August 20th, and the date I'm actually posting this is Thursday, August, 23rd! I've been nervous all week, and have asked God several times -- are you sure about this?!<: And yet, the direction I heard from God remains the same - allow your nieces and nephews in - let them read of your struggles, your sin, your joy, your celebrations, your day to day walk with Me.
So, here we are...
For several months, all of you have been on my mind and little stirrings have been moving around in my heart - all about you. What can I leave my nieces and nephews that will be life-changing? How can I really invest in their lives? What really matters, what's really important, and how can we talk about stuff - real stuff that we face every day and speak into each other's lives - God's way.
And with that said, you may be asking - "So, Aunt Lisa, what is God's way?" Well - sometimes, I think I know - and others times I'm not so sure, but as I have purposed in my heart to seek it out - I trust God enough to reveal it to us - together. I'm willing to be vulnerable to you - all of you - through this blog site. It doesn't matter where you live, in today's Internet world, you can know what's happening in my life - and my hope is that even when you read about my bad decisions, poor judgements...sin - that, more importantly, you will read that I turn back to God. I may be face down in crap- covered from head to do with sticky, gooey, messy filth, but I want you to see beyond that - I want you to see my face turning, upward. I want you to see my hand reaching for His hand. Not after I've cleaned up - but while I"m still dirty, wounded, ashamed, exhausted, angry...because that is the when God will change me. Too many times, I have drug myself out of the mess - and then I put clean clothes on, perfume, make-up, fix my hair, etc. - but I'm still dirty, broken, wounded, ashamed, bleeding inside. But hey! I look pretty on the outside - and as long as I can hide it, no one will know. And yet - I know and God knows - and if we're going to be real here - other people know too, right? We know when things aren't right with another person, someone we know and love. We see it in their eyes, on their face, their body language...and we say nothing, we do nothing. We allow them space, we don't want to intrude, we don't' want to confront. Why? Because we know how we would react - it's none of your business, I'm doing nothing wrong - what about when you did...?, you don't understand, I don't want to talk about it.......... we all know - we've all done that, right?
What exactly did Jesus have in mind when He said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. " John 10:10?
Who is the thief? What is he stealing, killing and destroying? What is "abundant life"? Can we really have it here? If so, how? And I don't mean, a 3 point list of dos and don't on how to have an abundant life. I mean - what does it mean when all hell is breaking loose in your life? These are things I think about. Things I wonder - because, like you, I do believe God's Word - I'm just trying to figure out how to apply it to my life day to day, in real time.
So, I invite you to watch (read). See what God teaches me. Join in - reply to my posts, give me feedback, reply via email, call me - let's do this life stuff together - help each other out.
I love you! And again - welcome!<:
A Decision
Where I'm at: My room
Weather: Fair, 73 degrees (my window is open, slight breeze)
Noise: Crickets chirping
Sights: the walls of my room
Mood: Courageous in the Lord
Tonight, as I walked in the hills, I pondered a thought that has been rattling around in the back of my brain for the last couple of days. I feel lead to share my blog with my nieces and nephews. So, after praying about it, and sensing that I'm hearing from God - I've made my decision. My next blog will be an open letter to them, I will email them my blog address, and allow them into my heart.
I memorized my 4th and last verse that I pulled out of my "Praying God's Word" box from Beth Moore. These 4 verses are very special to me because I feel like they are personally from God to me during a time of sin, sorrow, repentance, grace and forgiveness.
Verse 4:
Father, help me to humble myself under Your mighty hand, that you may lift me up in due time I Peter 5:6
You are always trustworthy and Your timing is always right. Help me to humble myself now so that You are free to do wonders later! -Beth Moore
Weather: Fair, 73 degrees (my window is open, slight breeze)
Noise: Crickets chirping
Sights: the walls of my room
Mood: Courageous in the Lord
Tonight, as I walked in the hills, I pondered a thought that has been rattling around in the back of my brain for the last couple of days. I feel lead to share my blog with my nieces and nephews. So, after praying about it, and sensing that I'm hearing from God - I've made my decision. My next blog will be an open letter to them, I will email them my blog address, and allow them into my heart.
I memorized my 4th and last verse that I pulled out of my "Praying God's Word" box from Beth Moore. These 4 verses are very special to me because I feel like they are personally from God to me during a time of sin, sorrow, repentance, grace and forgiveness.
Verse 4:
Father, help me to humble myself under Your mighty hand, that you may lift me up in due time I Peter 5:6
You are always trustworthy and Your timing is always right. Help me to humble myself now so that You are free to do wonders later! -Beth Moore
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The Phone Call
Where I'm at: In my room
Weather: Fair, 68 degrees outside/Inside - a little stuffy - have the window open/fan on
Sounds: crickets and dog barking
Sights: My open closet door
Mood: relief, disappointment, freedom
Tonight I had to call a friend and ask him for forgiveness. I was nervous. I had written him a letter, days ago - and I just couldn't bring myself to mail it. That was the cowardly way to do it. I knew I couldn't see him face to face anytime soon (we live over 150 miles away). The worst part about it was, two weeks ago I broke up with him. I wasn't able to share everything on my heart then - he kind of cut things short. He wasn't angry, or anything like that..I guess he heard what he needed to hear and that was that. I honestly thought I would never hear from him again - but my need to ask him for forgiveness in how I handled this relationship and for my behavior kept gnawing at me. And then he called - not just once, but twice. Our conversations were light, friendly - nothing weird or awkward - other than the gnawing inside that I need to say what was on my heart. And I couldn't bring myself to speak up.
So, tonight, I called him. He was willing to listen, and he did - to a point. But, I never got to finish sharing my heart completely - he didn't see the need for me to ask for forgiveness. He didn't recognize the sin. He had no regrets. He saw nothing wrong with our actions. Our values are different, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I knew early on in our relationship that he had different views on certain things. Things that I didn't want to compromise on - and yet I did.
I am so thankful that God forgives, and recognizes sin as sin. He doesn't justify it, ignore it, or say "not a big deal". He calls us to a life of purity - no matter how old we are, no matter how our culture says something different, no matter if the world says it's natural and good. There are certain things between a man and woman that is only for those who are married - not only physical, but emotional connections. God wants the best for us, and in our ingorance, pride, impatience, stuborness, and/or flat out rebellion we choose second best, third best or even the worst. And - even still - when I choose anything except God's best, He still gives me the opportunity to lay it at His feet, ask for forgiveness, and begin again. That's the secret - the hidden treasure in my relationship with Him. As long as I am willing to admit my sin, ask for forgiveness and change my direction - He will make all things new. I am more grateful for that than ever.
No - the phone call didn't go as planned, but I did do what I was lead to do, and I will leave the rest to God. That gnawing inside me has left. I am relieved it's over with. I'm disappointed in my friend's view of it all, but freed from the shackles of my part of this sin. I want God's best for me. And if for no other reason than this - my relationship with this man reminded me that good, is not best. And that good can easily and quickly turn to bad, when we choose the good now, instead of waiting for the best later.
I haven't memorized my 4th verse yet - so I'm repeating my most recent one - it's still very fitting...
Merciful Lord, restore to me the joy of my salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Psalm 51:12
Weather: Fair, 68 degrees outside/Inside - a little stuffy - have the window open/fan on
Sounds: crickets and dog barking
Sights: My open closet door
Mood: relief, disappointment, freedom
Tonight I had to call a friend and ask him for forgiveness. I was nervous. I had written him a letter, days ago - and I just couldn't bring myself to mail it. That was the cowardly way to do it. I knew I couldn't see him face to face anytime soon (we live over 150 miles away). The worst part about it was, two weeks ago I broke up with him. I wasn't able to share everything on my heart then - he kind of cut things short. He wasn't angry, or anything like that..I guess he heard what he needed to hear and that was that. I honestly thought I would never hear from him again - but my need to ask him for forgiveness in how I handled this relationship and for my behavior kept gnawing at me. And then he called - not just once, but twice. Our conversations were light, friendly - nothing weird or awkward - other than the gnawing inside that I need to say what was on my heart. And I couldn't bring myself to speak up.
So, tonight, I called him. He was willing to listen, and he did - to a point. But, I never got to finish sharing my heart completely - he didn't see the need for me to ask for forgiveness. He didn't recognize the sin. He had no regrets. He saw nothing wrong with our actions. Our values are different, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I knew early on in our relationship that he had different views on certain things. Things that I didn't want to compromise on - and yet I did.
I am so thankful that God forgives, and recognizes sin as sin. He doesn't justify it, ignore it, or say "not a big deal". He calls us to a life of purity - no matter how old we are, no matter how our culture says something different, no matter if the world says it's natural and good. There are certain things between a man and woman that is only for those who are married - not only physical, but emotional connections. God wants the best for us, and in our ingorance, pride, impatience, stuborness, and/or flat out rebellion we choose second best, third best or even the worst. And - even still - when I choose anything except God's best, He still gives me the opportunity to lay it at His feet, ask for forgiveness, and begin again. That's the secret - the hidden treasure in my relationship with Him. As long as I am willing to admit my sin, ask for forgiveness and change my direction - He will make all things new. I am more grateful for that than ever.
No - the phone call didn't go as planned, but I did do what I was lead to do, and I will leave the rest to God. That gnawing inside me has left. I am relieved it's over with. I'm disappointed in my friend's view of it all, but freed from the shackles of my part of this sin. I want God's best for me. And if for no other reason than this - my relationship with this man reminded me that good, is not best. And that good can easily and quickly turn to bad, when we choose the good now, instead of waiting for the best later.
I haven't memorized my 4th verse yet - so I'm repeating my most recent one - it's still very fitting...
Merciful Lord, restore to me the joy of my salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Psalm 51:12
Friday, August 17, 2007
Family-God's Way
Where I'm at: Same spot as last night! (on the couch)
Weather: Clear, 65 degrees outside/inside - just right.
Noises/Sights: Nothing special to note.
Mood: Enlightened and In Awe of My God
As my pattern this week has been, I went for a hike and talked with God. Memorized my third verse:
Merciful Lord, restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." Psalm 51:12
I'm amazed at my God. Once again, He has come through - not only for me, but for another sister in Christ. I'm in a Bible study with her and another girl friend. It's an intense one - and we've all shared some hard stuff about our past and our current struggles. And there has been some challenges along the way (to say the least!). We faced one of those challenges today - and for the first time since we started this study, I get what it's all about. I've been thinking, it's all about the study, the subject matter, "Shattering Your Strongholds" (that's the book, were doing). But it is so much more. My friend, my com padre, my sister in Christ, helped me see that tonight. It's about family. Christ's family, community in Spirit, oneness in Christ, supporting one another, building each other up, loving one another, seeing each other through the hard times, rejoicing in each others joys, crying for each others sorrows.
God gave me an awesome friend - who in her brokenness, is boldly stepping out into new, terrifying territory so she can find healing. And in the process, is bringing healing to me. I fought her on it - she'll tell you I did! It's not that I don't want "family"or "community" - I just want it on it my terms. God must shake His head at me so much. My terms? Ha! Thank you, Lord, for bringing this friend in to my life. I'm so grateful for her perseverance. I'm thankful for her cows.<: Giver her peace, security, love, hope and healing. I know, God, You can do this all on your own - and yet, you entrust us with each other - to teach us how to be a family and in community. I almost, didn't get that. But she did - in fact, she's gotten it all along.
I feel a change in the air - a shift in the wind. A new day has dawned. And it is good to be a part of Your family.
Weather: Clear, 65 degrees outside/inside - just right.
Noises/Sights: Nothing special to note.
Mood: Enlightened and In Awe of My God
As my pattern this week has been, I went for a hike and talked with God. Memorized my third verse:
Merciful Lord, restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." Psalm 51:12
I'm amazed at my God. Once again, He has come through - not only for me, but for another sister in Christ. I'm in a Bible study with her and another girl friend. It's an intense one - and we've all shared some hard stuff about our past and our current struggles. And there has been some challenges along the way (to say the least!). We faced one of those challenges today - and for the first time since we started this study, I get what it's all about. I've been thinking, it's all about the study, the subject matter, "Shattering Your Strongholds" (that's the book, were doing). But it is so much more. My friend, my com padre, my sister in Christ, helped me see that tonight. It's about family. Christ's family, community in Spirit, oneness in Christ, supporting one another, building each other up, loving one another, seeing each other through the hard times, rejoicing in each others joys, crying for each others sorrows.
God gave me an awesome friend - who in her brokenness, is boldly stepping out into new, terrifying territory so she can find healing. And in the process, is bringing healing to me. I fought her on it - she'll tell you I did! It's not that I don't want "family"or "community" - I just want it on it my terms. God must shake His head at me so much. My terms? Ha! Thank you, Lord, for bringing this friend in to my life. I'm so grateful for her perseverance. I'm thankful for her cows.<: Giver her peace, security, love, hope and healing. I know, God, You can do this all on your own - and yet, you entrust us with each other - to teach us how to be a family and in community. I almost, didn't get that. But she did - in fact, she's gotten it all along.
I feel a change in the air - a shift in the wind. A new day has dawned. And it is good to be a part of Your family.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Quail vs Manna
Where I am: Living Room, sitting on couch
Weather: Clear 63 Degrees (It's chilly in the house, I have a blanket around me!)
Noises: Dad's TV, my typing
Sights: Nothing special
Mood: Hopeful
Today, I memorized another card from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word. I did this while I was doing my hike in the hills. It says:
"When I said, 'My foot is slipping', You, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."
Psalm 94:18-19.
Last week I randomly pulled 4 cards from this box, hoping to have some words of wisdom to read when I was heading to the hills to pour out my heart to God. You see, I had sinned greatly. My heart was burdened, broken and weary of carrying a load that I chose to carry. I knowingly walked a path that I knew was slippery! And, not surprisingly, I slipped and fell. My shame was powerful - I'm not a new Christian. I know God's Word pretty well. I've walked with Him for over 25 years. And I hid in my sin, wallowed in my sin, and ended up being so covered by it, I couldn't see who I am in Christ. I only saw my yuck.
And the verse above, was on one of the cards I randomly chose (maybe I chose it randomly, but God knew which one I'd pick!) It brought much needed comfort to me. Thank you, God.
That day - as I began my walk up the hill, a bunch of quail ran across my path. I didn't understand why, but I couldn't get the quail out of my mind. Even after I had confessed my sin to God, and felt the release of my burden and received clear direction - the quail kept coming to my mind.
So, I went to http://www.biblegateway.com/ and entered "quail" to see what God's Word said about them. The only time that quail is referenced in the Bible is when the Israelites were in the desert, complaining that all they had was manna to eat. They missed the meat they had in Egypt. So God gave them quail.
Numbers 11:4[ Quail from the LORD ] The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat!
Numbers 11:31-31 Now a wind went out from the LORD and drove quail in from the sea. It brought them down all around the camp to about three feet above the ground, as far as a day's walk in any direction. 32 All that day and night and all the next day the people went out and gathered quail. No one gathered less than ten homers. (1 homer is approximately 2 full bags loaded on a donkey!) Then they spread them out all around the camp. 33 But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the LORD burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague. 34 Therefore the place was named Kibroth Hattaavah, because there they buried the people who had craved other food.
Psalm 78:26-30:"He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens; and by his power he guided the south wind. He rained flesh also upon them as the dust, and winged birds as the sand of the seas: And he let it fall in the midst of their camp, Round about their habitations. So they did eat, and were well filled; and he gave them to their own desire."
Weather: Clear 63 Degrees (It's chilly in the house, I have a blanket around me!)
Noises: Dad's TV, my typing
Sights: Nothing special
Mood: Hopeful
Today, I memorized another card from Beth Moore's Praying God's Word. I did this while I was doing my hike in the hills. It says:
"When I said, 'My foot is slipping', You, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."
Psalm 94:18-19.
Last week I randomly pulled 4 cards from this box, hoping to have some words of wisdom to read when I was heading to the hills to pour out my heart to God. You see, I had sinned greatly. My heart was burdened, broken and weary of carrying a load that I chose to carry. I knowingly walked a path that I knew was slippery! And, not surprisingly, I slipped and fell. My shame was powerful - I'm not a new Christian. I know God's Word pretty well. I've walked with Him for over 25 years. And I hid in my sin, wallowed in my sin, and ended up being so covered by it, I couldn't see who I am in Christ. I only saw my yuck.
And the verse above, was on one of the cards I randomly chose (maybe I chose it randomly, but God knew which one I'd pick!) It brought much needed comfort to me. Thank you, God.
That day - as I began my walk up the hill, a bunch of quail ran across my path. I didn't understand why, but I couldn't get the quail out of my mind. Even after I had confessed my sin to God, and felt the release of my burden and received clear direction - the quail kept coming to my mind.
So, I went to http://www.biblegateway.com/ and entered "quail" to see what God's Word said about them. The only time that quail is referenced in the Bible is when the Israelites were in the desert, complaining that all they had was manna to eat. They missed the meat they had in Egypt. So God gave them quail.
Numbers 11:4[ Quail from the LORD ] The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat!
Numbers 11:31-31 Now a wind went out from the LORD and drove quail in from the sea. It brought them down all around the camp to about three feet above the ground, as far as a day's walk in any direction. 32 All that day and night and all the next day the people went out and gathered quail. No one gathered less than ten homers. (1 homer is approximately 2 full bags loaded on a donkey!) Then they spread them out all around the camp. 33 But while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the LORD burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague. 34 Therefore the place was named Kibroth Hattaavah, because there they buried the people who had craved other food.
Psalm 78:26-30:"He caused the east wind to blow in the heavens; and by his power he guided the south wind. He rained flesh also upon them as the dust, and winged birds as the sand of the seas: And he let it fall in the midst of their camp, Round about their habitations. So they did eat, and were well filled; and he gave them to their own desire."
Psalm 105:40They asked, and he brought them quail and satisfied them with the bread of heaven.
A few things I noticed:
- The people were not happy with what God was providing for them (Manna from heaven was boring, a little bland, and the same thing they had last night, the day before, etc.)
- They longed for Egypt's meat. It was tasty, spicey, good to eat.
- God allowed them to have what they wanted - He gave them to their own desires. (Wow!)
- The quail did not satisfy them. Only the bread of heaven satisfied them - the very thing they were tired of and wanted replaced.
I asked for "quail". I grumbled for "quail". I was not happy with the life God had chosen for me right now. So - God allowed "quail" in my life. And I greedily, devoured it. I was given to my own desires. And it did not satisfy. It left me sick and dead inside. What is it that will satisfy? Bread from heaven - manna.
I am no longer grumbling for "quail". God's manna is what satisfies me - even if it seems boring and a little bland sometimes. I am choosing God's manna over Egypt's "quail", knowing that the land of promise, flowing with milk and honey is just up ahead. Manna is good. No...it's more than good..it satisfies.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
God's Mercy
Where I'm at: Sitting on the couch in the living room
Weather: Clear skies, 65 degrees oustide
Background noise: Dad's tv
Noteworthy sights: My cat, sprawled out on his back, feet up in the air.
Mood: Blessed and Hopeful
After work today, I went hiking in the hills behind a local college. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I'm wanting to exercise more - both physically and spiritually. So, while I was walking up and down the hills of Evergreen, I memorized a verse (paraphrased) from a card out of my Beth Moore's Praying God's Word box.
"Because of your great love for me, You, God, who are rich in mercy, made me alive with Christ even when I was dead in transgression. It is by grace I have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5.
I am so grateful for my security in Christ. Most of us think that we have to be "good" in order to be accepted by God. That is such a lie. No one can ever be "good" enough to gain God's acceptance. That's the whole beauty of accepting Christ into your heart. It's all because of His death on the cross, and His rising from the grave that gives any of us hope. Nothing else. My sometimes"good" behavior is the result of learning to live out my salvation, allowing my new being in Christ to become stronger than my old being outside of Christ. Anything other than that, is rubish!
I thank you, God, for your mercy to me. I thank you that because I have accepted Christ in my heart, my debt is paid in full. I have the key that allows me access to your kingdom. You would think I would use that key so much that it would be at risk of breaking (if it was an actual key). I'm learning to, though. One day, it will be second nature, automatic, as natural as breathing for me to run to You for anything and everything, or for no reason at all- just to be in Your presence. For now, You patiently watch and wait, as I struggle with this concept of unconditional love and forgiveness,, knowing that You see me complete in You...and one day...one day I will see that too.
Weather: Clear skies, 65 degrees oustide
Background noise: Dad's tv
Noteworthy sights: My cat, sprawled out on his back, feet up in the air.
Mood: Blessed and Hopeful
After work today, I went hiking in the hills behind a local college. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I'm wanting to exercise more - both physically and spiritually. So, while I was walking up and down the hills of Evergreen, I memorized a verse (paraphrased) from a card out of my Beth Moore's Praying God's Word box.
"Because of your great love for me, You, God, who are rich in mercy, made me alive with Christ even when I was dead in transgression. It is by grace I have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5.
I am so grateful for my security in Christ. Most of us think that we have to be "good" in order to be accepted by God. That is such a lie. No one can ever be "good" enough to gain God's acceptance. That's the whole beauty of accepting Christ into your heart. It's all because of His death on the cross, and His rising from the grave that gives any of us hope. Nothing else. My sometimes"good" behavior is the result of learning to live out my salvation, allowing my new being in Christ to become stronger than my old being outside of Christ. Anything other than that, is rubish!
I thank you, God, for your mercy to me. I thank you that because I have accepted Christ in my heart, my debt is paid in full. I have the key that allows me access to your kingdom. You would think I would use that key so much that it would be at risk of breaking (if it was an actual key). I'm learning to, though. One day, it will be second nature, automatic, as natural as breathing for me to run to You for anything and everything, or for no reason at all- just to be in Your presence. For now, You patiently watch and wait, as I struggle with this concept of unconditional love and forgiveness,, knowing that You see me complete in You...and one day...one day I will see that too.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
My Blogging Guidelines
I've decided that I will establish some blogging guidelines for myself. So, this will be my entry for the night.
1. Document the following:
where I am while typing my blog,
what the weather is like at the time
Any noises?
Any worthy sights?
What is my mood?
2. Attempt to enter a blog every day, even if it's just the basics in #1, to get in the habit of documenting my life.
3. No more rules. That's it!
1. Document the following:
where I am while typing my blog,
what the weather is like at the time
Any noises?
Any worthy sights?
What is my mood?
2. Attempt to enter a blog every day, even if it's just the basics in #1, to get in the habit of documenting my life.
3. No more rules. That's it!
Monday, August 13, 2007
I'm OK with Quiet
Today I went for a hike in the hills behind my house. I brought my Bible and set out to get a little physical and spiritual exercise. I have not been doing much of either lately, and it shows! I have been allowing my relationship with God to slip a little -but I'm working on spending time with Him daily. My short term goal is every day for 1 week.
I hiked for about 30 minutes and then looked for a place to sit quietly and listen to what God has to say to me. I found a spot, sat down and waited. I didn't hear anything except the birds, the sound of the wind blowing the leaves on the trees, and the scurry of a rabbit, squirrel or mouse in the dry brush. But that was OK - I don't command God to speak to me-He speaks when He is good and ready. I felt His presence in the stillness and quietness, though. I pictured him sitting next to me, no words needed. His child wants to spend time with Him. I wonder if God feels like a parent with teenagers - that unexplained joy that floods over them when their teen acknowledges them, and wants to just hang together. It's such a rare occurrence, but one that is cherished. Today, I felt cherished, in the still, quiet places of my heart. And for that I am grateful.
I hiked for about 30 minutes and then looked for a place to sit quietly and listen to what God has to say to me. I found a spot, sat down and waited. I didn't hear anything except the birds, the sound of the wind blowing the leaves on the trees, and the scurry of a rabbit, squirrel or mouse in the dry brush. But that was OK - I don't command God to speak to me-He speaks when He is good and ready. I felt His presence in the stillness and quietness, though. I pictured him sitting next to me, no words needed. His child wants to spend time with Him. I wonder if God feels like a parent with teenagers - that unexplained joy that floods over them when their teen acknowledges them, and wants to just hang together. It's such a rare occurrence, but one that is cherished. Today, I felt cherished, in the still, quiet places of my heart. And for that I am grateful.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Hello to Blog World
This is my attempt at documenting my life, my thoughts, my dreams, my pain, my joys, and all things that encompass who am and where I am at. Tonight will be short and sweet - just an entry to get my feet wet. Blog world, here I come!
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